Ted Haggard on church and state

Ted Haggard understands the separation between church and state. The first minute is awkward but it gets better after that. I've been reading up on Rev. Haggard's news recently, and I believe that he is a broken man who is seeking to be healed through the gospel. I'm not quite sure what direction he's ultimately planning to take, but at this point I know it would not be a good idea to write him off.

Having faith

I have to admit I was discouraged about missing the TEN (The Evangelical Network) conference a few weeks ago. People were flying in from out of state to attend and I am only a 90 minute drive from Irvine, yet it was impossible for me to go since I had to watch the kids while my husband was away for the weekend. It's not so much about missing that particular conference, but more about missing events like that in general. I rarely get out of the house except to attend church and the occasional mid-week fellowship meeting. That's just how it is when you have three relatively young kids and a husband who gets home late every night after a ninety-minute commute. The equation adds up to: not much of a life.

Meanwhile the landscape of gay Christian ministry has changed. It used to be that most gay Christians were disconnected and half-closeted and were only linked to one another through the Internet. Now those connections are being solidified into real communities through conferences like TEN and GCN and probably a few more cropping up that I'm not even aware of. As a result the issue of how gays and lesbians fit into the church is more visible than ever before. I heard that Urbana invited Andrew Marin to speak at one of their seminars. Urbana. I was blown away when I heard that. The presence of gay Christians in the church and the need for the church to be a credible witness to the secular gay community are actually creeping onto the radar screen of evangelical consciousness.

I'd like to be more involved with all that, but right now I have to accept the limitations that God has placed in my life. Christians like to use the metaphor of a "closed door." It means accepting that God has closed off one possible path and now you need to look for an "open door" to another opportunity. I guess I tend to view "closed doors" more as an opportunity to look around the room I feel stuck in and figure out what can be done within the confines of these four walls.

And maybe I am exactly where I need to be. The way I see it, two things need to change: 1) The church needs to become a compassionate, caring witness to the secular gay community. 2) Straight Christians need to stop marginalizing the gay Christians in their own churches and instead learn how to properly understand and minister to them. But the only path to making real progress in those two areas can be nothing short of a complete spiritual transformation at the very heart of the most conservative evangelical churches in our nation. The Bible-believing churches, the Republican hang-outs, the homeschooling hubs--yeah, those places.

In spite of the dysfunction, the screwed-up-ness, and the insufferable arrogance that often springs up from those circles, I have to admit that I still hold out a lot of hope for conservative, church-going people. In fact I'll admit even more. I think many of them are good people, maybe even some of the best people in our society. But with regard to this particular issue I think they abide under a dark shadow and have temporarily lost their way.

And I'm one of them--at least I fit more closely with this group than with any other I know. For one thing I'm obsessed with my Bible. Some people say I even teach the Bible well, but I'll never seek the pastorate because I don't believe in women's ordination (for myself, that is. If you want to get ordained as a woman, I'm not standing in your way). I'm still a registered Republican. I don't feel comfortable with the party anymore but I know I could never fit in with the Democrats, so I remain a nominal Republican and hope someday the party comes back to its senses. I homeschool. I'm not against public schools--in fact our oldest child has been attending a public school for the past two years. Yet at the same time I feel enough of that sense of being a "marginalized conservative" that I don't mind doing something risky like taking my children's education into my own hands.

I think, perhaps, I'm at this place in my life because that's where I'm supposed to be. Most of my conservative friends know I support gay rights and have gay friends and maintain a blog where I talk about "those things." Yet I'm sure they are relieved to see that I haven't--for example--pierced my nose. Or cut my hair short and dyed it purple. I don't send out mass emails inviting them to the local candlelight vigil. I don't suggest that we set up a panel discussion in our church to debate social issues. There's nothing wrong with those things if they're done in the right social context, but conservatives aren't comfortable with any of that stuff. Mention "candlelight vigils" and "panel discussions" to a conservative and they expect that next you'll be burning incense and talking about Mother God.

Conservative Christians "focus on their families" I guess. They work hard at their jobs, set up businesses, raise their kids, coach Little League, volunteer at the school, attend prayer meetings, go Christmas caroling. They will discuss the merits of breast-feeding versus formula. They will give advice on how to seed your lawn. They get excited about the classical education private school that's starting up in their neighborhood.

And I guess that's the sort of thing I've been busy with too. That and blogging. And thinking about bisexuality. And plotting how I might make the next GCN conference. But the point is, talking to conservative Christians about gay issues means first showing that you don't need to drive your faith or your values off a cliff in order to be open to these things. Maybe that's why I'm here in this "room" behind these walls and closed doors. Because the people I'm with are the ones I'm forming my closest relationships with. And I suppose it's no accident that I also love them, and believe in them.

Multiple hats

You may recall that on this blog I linked to the press release sent out by "The American College of Pediatricians" (ACPEDS) which sought to advise school superintendents and educators about homosexuality. The organization turned out to be just another promoter of NARTH and Focus on the Family viewpoints under the guise of an official-sounding name that might be mistaken for the more reputable American Academy of Pediatrics.

While I linked to the ACPEDS press release, I didn't take a look at the actual letter they sent out to the district superintendents. Turns out MSNBC's Rachel Maddow did and found . . . George Rekers' name on it. Take a look at the left margin of the letter under the heading "Pediatric Psychosocial Development Committee."

Small world? Not exactly. What we've learned about Rekers' career, and the multiple hats he has evidently worn, suggests that while there may appear to be many organizations touting the same message--NARTH, Focus on the Family, ACPEDS--they typically involve the same key players. Clearly these people want to give the appearance of having a multiplicity of professional opinions confirming their particular brand of science, when in reality there are only a small handful of "experts" doing the opining.

This may not be news to many gays and lesbians who have been following these organizations, but it is to most straight Christians who are targeted for this kind of deception. I've learned to read the fine print, check the footnotes, and take time to look at the sources cited. It's surprising how often the same names--Joseph Nicolosi, Charles Socarides, Paul Cameron, James Dobson--pop up. And now there's a new name I'll be looking for: George Rekers.

Laura Bush for gay marriage

First Dick and Lynne Cheney, then Cindy and Meghan McCain. Now Laura Bush.

Thankfully, this won't be you

There's only one thing I want to say with regard to George Rekers. If you are gay or lesbian, and you have found the courage to admit that to yourself, be thankful. Otherwise you might have ended up where Rekers has. You might have spent your life running. You might have hurt others by turning your self-hatred into hatred against the very people with whom you could identify all too well. You might have become so good at rationalizing that you might even have crafted it into a sophisticated doctrine, dressed it up in scientific terminology, and built a career on selling it to the public. All because you could not face the truth.

But if you have faced the truth, be very thankful.

And if you're straight and you know someone who is trying to grapple openly with the truth of his or her own homosexuality, please be supportive. Don't think of that person as "pushing homosexuality in your face." Rather see them as trying to save their own sanity, or perhaps even their own soul.

"GLBT"

I don't know if you've noticed, but I've resisted using the term GLBT or LGBT on this blog even though I'm well aware that most other gay-friendly blogs, books, magazines, etc. use it freely. It would be so nice if I could make my peace with these four letters. I wouldn't have to say "gay and lesbian" or "the gay community" all the time, or worry whether using the term "gay" sounds like it's excluding lesbians. GLBT just rolls off the tongue lickety-split. Simple.

My problem is the whole honesty thing that I tend to get obsessed with. Am I really addressing the needs of bisexual and/or transgender people on this blog? Not really. Not because I don't want to, but because I haven't had enough personal experience with bisexual and transgender individuals to make the claim that I can write intelligently about their situations. I don't feel right about using the term GLBT when I'm always going to be leaving the "B's" and "T's" out, or only addressing their situations tangentially. I imagine that bisexual people face different issues than gay and lesbian folks, and being transgender is certainly a very different experience than being either gay, lesbian or bisexual.

Actually I've had more transgender people write to me to share their stories than bisexual. I believe transgender people when they say they have always felt like a woman trapped inside a man's body, or vice versa. I used to think that maybe it was a problem of a mismatch between soul and body, a female soul in a male body for instance. But the latest scientific findings suggest that our sense of "maleness" and "femaleness" may reside in the brain, so perhaps it has something to do with the mismatch between people's brains and physical bodies, whatever that means. Then I'm aware of the people who want to deny that there is any such thing as maleness and femaleness but assert that we all exist in some kind of socially flexible gender continuum. I get the whole idea that we need to be more flexible in defining maleness and femaleness, but in the end I don't really buy into that theory, yet I'm not sure I can explain why. Anyhow, as you can see, I sort of grope around with these thoughts. They are certainly not well developed enough to claim that I am somehow addressing the needs of the transgender community by sharing them.

Bisexuals are even more of a mystery to me. I recall only one person writing to me and claiming to be bisexual, but without any explanation. I know that truly bisexual people are out there, but my difficulty in being able to nail down this issue is two-fold. First, I'm never sure how to distinguish between the people who are truly bisexual, and the people who are claiming to be bisexual but are really just warming up to the idea that they might be gay/lesbian. Second, I suspect many bisexual people feel no need to reveal themselves because they are able to pass themselves off as heterosexuals. I mean, if many gays and lesbians are able to masquerade as straights by dating and marrying opposite-sex partners, how much more successfully would bisexuals be able to remain closeted, especially since they can have satisfying sexual relationships with opposite-sex partners?

I do want bisexual and transgender people to read this blog, especially if they feel my musings benefit them. But I just don't want to add the "B" and "T" as if I'm promising to address their situations, then I just forget about them. I think that would be disrespectful. I believe the situation of transgender people is especially unique and complex and, frankly, I just feel bad when I see how they are sort of tagged on as the fourth letter of the GLBT grouping like an afterthought.

A second blog

I'm not sure what's gotten into me because I already have a thousand things going on in my life--but I've started a second blog. Don't worry, I'm still going to be keeping up this blog, but I'm starting the second blog to record my thoughts on the New Testament. The posts will be arranged so that anyone can use it for their own devotional readings. My ridiculously ambitious plan is to cover all the New Testament books from Matthew to Revelation. So I've decided to call it "Matthew to Revelation" (matthewtorevelation.blogspot.com).

In January 2009 I started a series on this blog called "Finding Jesus Christ" in which I put down thoughts for seekers on understanding who Jesus Christ is. I've felt a little uncomfortable trying to incorporate those studies onto this blog because I consider "More Musings On" to exist for the very narrow purpose of recording my musings on issues of faith and sexuality. On the other hand, I know that many gay and lesbian people are too estranged from the church to have a chance to explore issues of faith with anyone. So I kind of go back and forth about this series I've created. Maybe a separate Bible study blog altogether is a better solution. It won't be for seekers per se, but I'm planning to make the posts layperson-friendly.

I probably won't be posting every day and I don't know if I'll even make it through Matthew, let alone the entire New Testament. But I've always had a passion for understanding the Bible. I love doing Bible studies with the women at church and reading through the New Testament with my kids at home. I've considered for a long time whether I should write up some devotional materials and have them published. But that would involve a publishing company and all the politics and marketing schemes that come with that. Who needs it? Blogging is more accessible to people, and it's free. Didn't Jesus say, "Freely you have received, freely give"? Besides, in order to get published with a publishing company I'd probably have to adjust my writing style to sound all boring and dignified, instead of just being able to talk out my thoughts about the Scriptures like I do with my kids at the kitchen table.

Anyhow, I hope you'll check it out.

It's that time again...

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New packaging, same message

You may have encountered a recent press release by an organization called the American College of Pediatricians that announces "College Cautions Educators About Sexual Orientation in Youth":

The College reminds school superintendents that it is not uncommon for adolescents to experience transient confusion about their sexual orientation and that most students will ultimately adopt a heterosexual orientation if not otherwise encouraged. For this reason, schools should not seek to develop policy which “affirms” or encourages these non-heterosexual attractions among students who may merely be experimenting or experiencing temporary sexual confusion. Such premature labeling can lead some adolescents to engage in homosexual behaviors that carry serious physical and mental health risks.

There is no scientific evidence that anyone is born gay or transgendered. Therefore, the College further advises that schools should not teach or imply to students that homosexual attraction is innate, always life-long and unchangeable. Research has shown that therapy to restore heterosexual attraction can be effective for many people.

I just thought I'd point out that the American College of Pediatricians is not the same as the mainstream organization you might have heard of called the American Academy of Pediatrics. If you dig a little deeper into the American College of Pediatricians website and find the list of books that they recommend for parents, you'll see Focus on the Family and James Dobson materials, plus a book called A Parent's Guide to Preventing Homosexuality by Joseph Nicolosi.

I'm just saying that a press release, a fancy website and an official sounding name can sound intimidating, but the bottom line of the organization is pretty much NARTH and Focus on the Family. Same old same old.

Update: The American Academy of Pediatrics speaks out about the confusion caused by the American College of Pediatricians. So does Dr. Warren Throckmorton.

Competing agendas

Here's a conversation I've had many times over. A fellow straight Christian who takes a conservative position on same-sex relationships wants to know whether celibacy is "the answer" for gay Christians. I respond that it might be a solution for some people who think they can handle it. But there's always the problem of what to do about the people who don't think they can handle it. I bring up depression. I point out how the depression caused by the strain of trying to avoid this one sin can lead to worse problems. It might lead to acting out, for instance. It might lead to abandoning faith. It might even lead to contemplating suicide.

And the fellow Christian I'm talking to says, "Uh-huh . . . uh-huh . . . okay, but--"

Okay, but?

At this point I'm wondering, "What's so 'okay but' about suicide?" We're talking suicide. SOO-IH-SIDE. Why do alarm bells not go off in this person's head when they hear that word?

But now I've come to realize something. To me this conversation is about real people, friends I care about. It's about hearing someone on the other end of the phone going off about how they feel like God hates them and they can't do this and there are no answers and nowhere to turn and what hope can I give them that would make their life worth living, huh??

But to this straight Christian I'm talking to, this conversation is largely a theological exercise. Nothing real is at stake. It's about coming to the right answer while staying within the bounds of orthodoxy.

In other words, when one person is talking about love and the other is talking about protecting certain doctrines, how can the two sides be having the same conversation?

I see this problem on a larger scale too. We evangelicals tend to get starry eyed when it comes to rubbing shoulders with our favorite evangelical celebs. Someone tells of shaking the hand of Pastor of a Certain Megachurch, or studying under Professor at a Respected Theological Seminary or having their Facebook friend request accepted by Author of a Popular Christian Book. But when it comes to, say, a mother seeking out advice for her gay son or daughter, can she entrust her loved one into the hands of these "experts"? Is that megachurch pastor going to advise her out of love for her gay son, or is he going to be thinking about what the board of elders would say if they found out "a homosexual" was in their midst? Is that popular author going to love her gay daughter as much as she does, or will he be thinking about protecting the book deal he's trying to close with IVP?

It's a problem, isn't it?

When people ask me what respected Christian leaders or theologians I've consulted to guide me on my views, I have to admit that I haven't done that much consulting. I have no idea what other people's agendas are. Can these strangers love my friends the way I do? Can they feel the weight of the responsibility of it? Or are they just concerned about what a publisher or a committee or the powers-that-be want them to say?

I think the responsibility of love falls on the individual alone. You can't fully entrust it to others. The path love carves out is too uncertain, with too many twists and turns to be able to write it up in a brochure and submit to a board for approval. It's not something you vote on, it's a journey you take alone. I don't scoff at love like I used to, as something that's liberal and mushy and unprincipled. Loving others the way Jesus commanded is by far the most frightening thing I've ever had to do.

What change?

Friends will sometimes send me links to articles that quote from the latest evangelical leader--a seminary prof, a radio show host, some megachurch pastor--who demonstrates an ability to speak about homosexuality in calm, moderate tones while even daring to suggest that we should work toward peace and understanding in the church. Nothing earth-shattering enough to post on this blog, but I see bits of progress here and there that tell me a quiet trend of questioning and self-examination is afoot in some pockets of the evangelical church. I expect that it will grow over time. In the meantime it's interesting to check out what people have to say, and observe how the gears are turning in people's minds as these more moderate evangelicals contemplate the issue of homosexuality.

But I've noticed one little catch phrase that keeps popping up. You know how evangelicals love using catch phrases, and once the usage of a certain phrase reaches a critical mass you hear everyone saying it left and right? Here is the one I keep hearing:

"While we know that change is possible for some [gay and lesbian] people, we need to consider that maybe it isn't possible for everyone."

Then the evangelical leader goes on to plead for Christian compassion and understanding for these leftover gay people, these stragglers who evidently couldn't get their act together enough to make the full conversion from gay to straight like all the other success stories out there.

My question is, What are all these success stories of "change" that they're talking about? Who has ever successfully and completely changed from gay to straight? Anyone I know? Anyone you know? I'm not saying that such change doesn't exist on the face of the earth, but I am saying that I have never encountered any of these changed people, and I've been researching and writing on the topic of homosexuality for the last ten years.

I realize that this catch phrase is thrown out there as a way to reach those evangelicals who cling with white-knuckled fervor to the idea that gays are an ultra-depraved sub-species of the human race who don't deserve anyone's compassion--not even Jesus's. The word to them is, "Oh, but they do deserve compassion, if you would just realize that while some people can change [satisfying the evangelical belief that most gays do choose to be homosexual at some subconscious level], you also have to understand that not all people can succeed at changing, you see."

These days I find myself categorized within this small crowd of straight evangelicals who are trying to talk to other straight evangelicals about being more understanding toward the gay community. I'm thankful that the category even exists, and I'm thankful the talk is happening. But am I supposed to go out there and say, "While we know that some people can change, blah blah blah . . ." even though I have never--in all my hundreds of contacts via email exchanges and coffee dates and phone calls and dinners and conferences and small groups--crossed paths with anyone who has told me a credible story of converting from being completely homosexual to being completely heterosexual? It is a problem of honesty.

I know you should "never say never," which is why I continue to be open to the possibility that somewhere out there, someone has successfully made the gay-to-straight conversion. But the silence is strange to me, because most people who have had a positive, unique, life-changing experience that might possibly help millions of other people tend to go public about it and make their fortune publishing how-to books and traveling the country holding conferences and seminars. I know the ex-gay movement is trying to pretend that that's what they're all about--but I'm talking about the real thing, and I'm still waiting.

In the meantime I can't bring myself to feed my Christian friends the line about all the supposed change that's going on out there, regardless of what they may want to hear. Instead I say, "It's possible someone has really gone through a genuine orientation change and I just haven't heard about it yet. So if you know of anybody, please tell that person to contact me. I'd love to meet them and ask how they did it."

What would Jesus do about gay weddings?

A Christian has the fear of God put in him and hastens to attend his gay friends' weddings:

I think I better go to the weddings of my gay friends. I'm almost scared not to. In some of his parables Jesus wasn't exactly fortune-cookie clear, but he didn't even almost waffle about his "Love your neighbor as yourself." He very explicitly declared that the "first and greatest commandment."

If there's any wiggle room there, I just don't see it.

Introducing our newest batch of followers

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Finding Jesus Christ: Unexpectedly sane

Click here for an explanation about this series: "Finding Jesus Christ."

I've now had seven full weeks to de-tox from Christmas, which means I can safely talk about the incarnation of the Son of God without feeling haunted by unpleasant associations such as sleigh bells ringing, traffic jams at the shopping mall, and dead Christmas tree needles clogging up my vacuum cleaner. Thank God for February.

An infant child is born into the world and is greeted by people kneeling down to worship him, from dignified wise men who have served in royal courts, to lowly shepherds who nudge sheep through lonely hills. Yet when King Herod learns of it, he tries to kill the child, and his parents are forced to flee with him to a foreign country for a time. Talk about a welcome that could potentially mess with a kid's mind. He's barely out of the starting blocks of life and already people love him and people hate him, people worship him and people want to kill him. The closest analogy I can think of is the way the media tabloids treat big-name child celebrities. You see what kind of a screwed-up human being normally emerges when someone is alternately venerated and demonized by others their entire young life.

Parents don't help. Joseph and Mary were fairly grounded people, yet I can't imagine they were immune to the usual follies of human pride for being the chosen couple to raise the Messiah for crying out loud. A little bragging to the neighbors here, a little over-protectiveness of the child there, and soon the home in which young Jesus had to grow up becomes an atmosphere that nurtures the resentment of his younger siblings toward him. Any normal kid might develop an overblown sense of self-importance as either prodigy or victim, two sides of the same coin, potentially landing him in deep resentment.

Jesus, however, displayed no such angst, no sign of a growing psychosis. Far from becoming an egomaniac, he grew into a more humble man than the world has ever known. Far from embracing more self-protectiveness, he embraced increasingly more pain, more misunderstandings, and more suffering. Rejection by his siblings turned into rejection by his entire home town. He was a rabbi who was an outcast of the synagogue, gawked at by the crowds, persecuted by the authorities, and ill-used by even his friends. His fame turned to infamy, then betrayal, violence and death. His dying words were about forgiveness for his murderers and requesting care for his aging mother. He goes as quietly as if he were a nameless peasant.

I know of no person in human history who has received worship and adoration, coupled with relentless persecution, who did not become an egomaniac or develop a serious, crippling paranoia. Think back in history of emperors and dicators, of kings and sons of kings. Head cases, all of them.

So it's hard to explain where this ridiculously sane and balanced human being came from. Jesus' humility might be explained if he were super well-grounded in his own human limitations, if he went around saying stuff like, "I'm just a regular guy like you. I'm nobody special. I'm just your average Joe Israelite doing my best to serve God." That's what you'd expect to hear from someone like Gandhi, or Mother Teresa. Yet Jesus came with no such self-effacing message. Instead he went around saying, "Truly I say to you, before Abraham was born, I am" (the Hebrew expression for "I have always existed"). "I am the living bread that came down from heaven." "I and the Father are one." How could he be humble and sane and claim to be God who has come down to earth from heaven?

The only crime Jesus was charged with during his lifetime was, essentially, claiming to be the Son of God. A man who claims to be divine either will prove himself to be the worst egomaniac that ever lived, or he will back up his claim with a perfectly lived life. There are only two choices as far as I can see. You make the call.

"Gay lifestyle" revealed

The (In)Famous SMT has done the service of providing us with an inside look at his "gay lifestyle." Pastors and preachers who regularly condemn such lifestyles from the pulpit would do well to pay attention in this rare moment of disclosure:

My Gay Lifestyle
Weekdays
1. Wake-up ~7:00 AM
1. Dress, brush teeth, etc.
2. Go to class 9:00 AM – 12:00/12:30 PM
1. Eat lunch in the 15 minutes I have to spare everyday.
3. More class 1:00 PM – 5:00 PM
1. 4 hour lab section are alternately draining and exciting
4. Lab research, homework, food, and 1 30-min nap 5:00 PM – 12:00/1:00 AM
5. Sleep

Saturday
1. Wake-up ~ 8:00 AM
2. Lab research, homework 9:00 AM – 12:30 PM
3. Club Meeting 1:00 PM – 4:30 PM
1. Food!
4. Lab research, homework, food 5:00 PM – 12:00 AM
5. Sleep

Sunday
1. Wake-up ~8:00 AM
2. Catch Bus at 9:50 AM
3. Set-up for Church A 10:15 – 10:35 AM
4. Church A Service 10:45 AM – 2:00 PM
5. Walk back to campus
6. Lab research, homework 3:00 – 4:30 PM
7. Subway
8. Church B 5:00PM – 9:00 PM
9. Subway
10. Lab research, homework, food, nap 9:30 PM – 2:00 AM
11. Sleep

Shocking, I know.

Beyond the silence, continued

My previous post "Beyond the Silence" seems to have struck a chord with a lot of you. So let me add a few more thoughts on how straights should go about "continuing the conversation" with a gay friend or family member who comes out to you.

One thing I have found to be true for myself, and for many straights who think seriously about gay issues, is that it's perfectly natural for your thoughts to be constantly evolving. Once you learn to tune in to the debate, you become aware of how many different angles and perspectives are being discussed all the time: gay marriage, gays in the military, hate crimes laws, the teaching of the Bible, the attitudes of the church, coming out stories, ex-gay ministries, and so forth. For the thoughtful person, these debates have a way of injecting small insights into your brain bit by bit so that you are constantly adjusting your attitude toward homosexuality. You confront contradictions in your thinking. You make connections. You have mini "aha!" moments that hit you at odd times of the day.

So if your friend or family member has already come out to you as gay and if, at the time, in your panic, you were only able to produce some half-audible, highly dissatisfying mumble, don't let that response stand as a Monument For All Time representing your attitude toward homosexuality. You were taken off guard. You had a brain freeze. You hadn't had a chance to get out of the starting blocks in this journey. But now you're off, slowly jogging along, taking in the sights.

Now that you've had a chance to recover and think a little, you can let that gay friend or family member know that the gears of your mind are turning upstairs. Just because you botched it when they first came out to you doesn't mean you can't recover. In fact, you should just take for granted that most people botch it--and that's forgivable--but now you're on your feet ready to think coherent thoughts. They don't have to be profound. This is bit by bit, remember?

Probably the safest way of bringing up "the topic" is to talk about some article you read or something you saw on TV. Nowadays there is no shortage of news stories, human interest stories, editorials, political debates, interviews, court cases or comedy sketches on gay-related topics. "The other day I saw an interview of this guy who got kicked out of the military just because he's gay. That sucks, man." That's a conversation you can have with a gay friend in the car while driving to 7-Eleven to grab some beer. Or drop them an email. "Hey, man. Long time no talk. I saw this today and was wondering what you think. (Cut and paste link to article or YouTube on gay-related subject.)"

It's pretty difficult for someone who is gay to bring this stuff up with you. They don't want you to accuse them of being "pushy," or of coming off like an "activist." It's better when you take the initiative. Even if you never end up having a deep conversation, the little gestures do make a difference in a relationship. And if you're a Christian, there's no better way to let that person know that the love you claim to have for them in Christ is genuine.

Cindy McCain for gay marriage

Cindy McCain comes out publicly against Prop. 8., posing for a NOH8 ad. She follows the lead of her daughter, Meghan McCain, who posed for a NOH8 ad before. Meanwhile, Republican attorney Ted Olson continues to challenge Prop. 8 at a federal court in San Francisco . . .

What's the Republican party coming to? For some, maybe it's a realization that they want to be on the right side of the issue when history looks back and recognizes this as a civil rights struggle.

Pat opened his trap again, and it's not good

According to Pat Robertson, the Haitians are "cursed" because they once "swore a pact to the devil" to gain their freedom from the French.



So in the mind of Pat Robertson and his generation of culture warrior Christians, this is what it means to show "compassion" in the face of tragedy? Can anything he says be taken as a true Christian perspective anymore?

Which reminds me. Don't forget to sign the petition "Christians Against Pat Speaking." The link is always available in my sidebar.

HT: My appalled Christian FB friends

Update: The devil responds.

Ted Olson's conservative case for gay marriage

Attorney Ted Olson, renown champion of conservative and Republican causes, is currently involved in persuading a federal court to invalidate Proposition 8, a voter-approved measure that overturned the constitutional right of same-sex couples to marry in California in 2008. His article, "The Conservative Case for Gay Marriage," appears in Newsweek today.

Reactions to our lawsuit have reinforced for me these essential truths. I have certainly heard anger, resentment, and hostility, and words like "betrayal" and other pointedly graphic criticism. But mostly I have been overwhelmed by expressions of gratitude and good will from persons in all walks of life, including, I might add, from many conservatives and libertarians whose names might surprise. I have been particularly moved by many personal renditions of how lonely and personally destructive it is to be treated as an outcast and how meaningful it will be to be respected by our laws and civil institutions as an American, entitled to equality and dignity. I have no doubt that we are on the right side of this battle, the right side of the law, and the right side of history.

In 1996 Andrew Sullivan made the first conservative case for civil same-sex marriage in his book Virtually Normal. After reading his arguments in 2000 I became persuaded that I could make a conservative Christian case for civil same-sex marriage, aimed at Christians who might think homosexual practice is sinful but weren't interested in hindering the freedoms of those who would disagree. Evidently my essay was only one example of how Sullivan's ideas were spreading. Now, six years after I was forced out of my old denomination for expressing my views, Olson's article appears in today's Newsweek. The snowball has long been gathering speed and momentum. Given enough time, justice and truth will eventually win out.

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